Huwebes, Enero 23, 2014

Not Function Well Family


Are you belong to the family that doesn't function well? Did you already experienced that? How does it feel?


I know how does it feel.

My parents have arguments few years ago. They used to fight at all the time. They had argue about everything. Yell here! Yell there! Sometimes they didn't speak to each other for long days.
I felt scared.
Would they stop talking to each other forever? Why they didn't like each other any more? Would they stop care of us? How about we as the fruit of their loving?

When my family talked about getting annulment, I thought I was to blame. Lots of time I annoyed them. I spoiled their fun when I got sick.
One night, I got wound because of the door that accidentally falls to my head. That's why I have scar on my face. I thought the way I hurt and care about me, everything will be goin’ fine but I’m wrong. 
I felt guilty.
I tried to be good by doing chores and studying well. They still fighting. They are not fighting because of me. Sometimes, my Dad said bad things about my Mom. I couldn't stand listening to either one. I don't want to hear them saying bad things about each other.
I loved them both.
Then the day come that my parent decided to get annulment. My said she would be moving away. I asked her how about me, my sisters and my brother. How could she leave us if she love us, how would she care for us? Who would be my Mom? My sister?
I felt angry.
I wanted to keep them together because we are family. One day, I woke up, I'm looking around. Mom not at home. It means Mom leaved. Almost every night, I cried.
 I felt they didn't love me.
She wasn't around. Then I found that she's on my grandma's home. Often, I visited her. She gave two pair shoes for both of me and my sister. I'm thankful because she's there supporting then.
I missed her. I miss her at all. I missed her cooked, her laughed, the way she care for us. It was difficult to fall asleep. I was angry at my Dad for pushing her to leave us.
I felt unhappy.
It was awful. But after a while I didn't cry as much.
The house seemed like lonely without my Mom.
I felt lonely.
Even Dad didn't leave. He almost not at the house because he's a vendor. It was strange for me not having Mom around.

Even this was a bitter story of mine, there's nothing reason to be rebel my life. It's not the end of my life. Rebelling doesn't gave any good to drive my life through.

to be continue. . .

7 komento: